True leadership is not about how smart you seem to others. It is not about the cleverness or genius of your rhetoric. In most cases, our greatest leaders have been those who genuinely preferred to listen to others, in order to gain greater insight into the needs, desires and wishes of their constituents, backers, supporters and donors. It is about having the ability to objectively gather information, insights and ideas from others, while always reserving final judgment yourself (and not being unduly influenced by biases). Great leaders are those that are able to resist their perhaps natural urge to speak, and never interrupt others. True leaders realize that it is far more important to ask than to speak, and that questions asked are often far more important and essential than even the answers given. Great leaders are those that abide by the adage, "They never taste who always drink. They always talk who never think."
1. Responsible leadership often requires great patience, and the willingness to listen fully and evaluate objectively what others say. In my over three decades of working closely with well over a thousand leaders, I have observed that many leaders create unnecessary burdens on themselves by reacting to what they believe (often emotionally) to be the statement and/ or question being asked by others. When this occurs, the leader often overreacts to the comment and attributes some hidden or nefarious meaning or objective to the words spoken. The wise leader, on the other hand, responds to questions and/ or controversial comments made to them by asking clarifying questions, in order to be sure that he fully understands what exactly is the concern. Failure to do so often causes the emotional leader to open up a Pandora's Box, by bringing up an item that wasn't even of concern to the individual. In addition, human nature is such that when a leader asks probing questions in a non- controversial or confrontational manner, that he diffuses any potential overreaction by the other individual, as well. Great leaders are the best listeners!
2. How, exactly should a leader ask a question, without appearing elusive? The first thing is to pay close attention to body language, for example, avoiding crossing ones arms in front of them and prioritizing eye contact. The other thing that is both important and effective is to respond by saying something like, "In other words, you're concerned about.." Then, the great leaders simply stop speaking. As a part of my leadership training programs and courses, I have a component that I call, "ZTL," which quite simply stands for zip the lip. Leaders must wait as long as necessary, and say nothing, until after the other person responds to his probing or clarifying question.
There is a time for a leader to speak, and a time when he must remain silent and effectively listen. Effective listening requires discipline, objectivity, integrity, and the desire to best serve his constituents and organization!
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